The girls just continue to grow – way too fast. I wish I could turn back time. Sometimes I wonder if you were allowed to choose one point in time to freeze, you know, say, “This is it and I want stuff to stay just like this forever,” when I would choose. Doesn’t seem like there would ever be a time all the stars would align and everything would be good enough to want to freeze it – you know, wait til they are out of diapers, wait until I don’t have this calling, wait until my hair grows longer or some such reason the grass would be greener some other day. So I guess you just have to savor the good moments within each individual day. Sure, I might not like my calling today, but the kids might be at such an awesome age, when you can still see that little sweet spot at the base of Lucy’s neck before her hair got long enough to cover it up or maybe I don’t think my house is quite picture perfect but I like my friends and the stuff that keeps me busy outside of being a mom. No, there is no perfect time to freeze – probably a good thing too, cuz you can’t. Just lots of wishing, in my case, that I had a better memory for what they smelled like, or how their little body fit in my arms, the way they looked sleeping, or the funny things they would do, the cute tone of their voices or silly things they would say. They say that when you stand before Christ to be judged you will have a perfect memory of all your deeds – good and bad. I wonder if you will, too, have a perfect memory of ALL things and if you get to keep it. Maybe being able to remember all the sweet moments of their childhood is the counterbalance for having to recall all your sins. I wonder if the good will outweigh the bad….
